After a terrible fortnight the news that this blog has 11 new followers, this April, was a rather welcome high spot… so, a mahousive thank you to my newbies, you’ve truly put a smile on my face, even if just for a short while. Pain comes in many different guises, I know many readers will know what I mean; that terrible trio, physical, mental and emotional pain, can all be equal in intensity to any given individual at any given time… 

This last fortnight I guess I’ve had that hat-trick all at once… it was just under 2 weeks ago today that we lost my dear mum.

Heartbroken, devastated, empty, lost, panicky, desperate, miserable, unable to function, these words and phrases do nothing towards describing how I’m feeling at the moment… I wish the well-meaning would stop using phrases like she lived a good long life, time will help, I know exactly how you’re feeling, it’s early days yet… all I want is them to listen, to offer an open ear & when necessary a shoulder to cry on… it’s a lesson hard learned peoples.

I’m hoping writing will act like a therapy, they do say a trouble shared is a trouble halved… don’t they?

My Fibromyalgia & mecfs have gone into hyperdrive and I’m in constant dread that I won’t make her funeral. I’ve given strict instructions that if I can’t be woken I’m to be dragged from my bed, dressed in my (hopefully) waiting clothes & shoved into the nearest available vehicle! My sense of humour hasn’t failed me yet but I guess that’s a defence mechanism, I’ve no doubt it will disappear for a bit before long.

I was with mum when she passed and for that I will be eternally grateful, it has been a privilege to be her daughter; nothing will ever be the same again.

I’m going to take a break now, so consider this as part 1, LOL…

I’ll be back!!!